Petara's Prerogative

Priya: I am going to have a baby. Tori: Do you know how? Priya: No, what do I do. Tori: You pray for a baby and when you grow up you get one. That's what I am going to do. Malachi: That is not how any of that works. Me to Myself: This is coming from the kid that we have had the talk with and is convinced we made stuff up to gross him out.

I like my pets more than I like most people.

Daughter: What holiday is on Monday? Me: Labor Day Daughter: So, everyone is going to get pregnant? Me:  😲 😳 😐

I am more excited about my kids going back to school, than they are about going back to school.  I try not to show it though.

I bite my nails.  It is a gross habit that I cannot break.

When I was about 7, a neighbor gave me a beautiful Easter egg.  I didn't want to eat it, because it was so pretty.  I put it in my fanny pack for safe keeping and threw it in my closet.  Of course, my closet was always a disaster.  Over the summer, my mom made me clean out my closet.  There was a funky smell that I could not describe.  Finally, I found my fanny pack and remembered the egg.  It was unrecognizable.  I promised myself I would never do anything like that again.  About an hour later, my mom was looking for the egg she had left on the counter to make cornbread.  I was heading upstairs with it wrapped in a blanket, hoping I could get it to hatch soon.

When I was about 8, I stayed the summer with my maternal grandma.  She believed in chores.  I was okay with cleaning the kitchen, but panicked when I was told I would have to clean the tub.  There were multiple people using one bathroom.  I could not handle it.  I quickly lied and told her I was allergic to Comet, so I could not clean the tub.  The entire summer, I was scared that she would find out I had lied.  I kept thinking about the ass whippings my mom and her siblings said she would hand out when they were growing up.  I did not want to have any ass whipping stories of my own.

I won't wear sandals, if the polish on my nails is chipped.

I can grow glitter from my scalp.

I call the kids in to plug my computer into the charger, even though it's right next to me.

I do not answer the door, unless I am expecting company.  I will sit there and let the dogs bark at you through the door and not feel bad about it.

When I was a kid, there was a girl that would always avoid me and I could never figure out why.  She was older than me, so I know I didn't intimidate her.  It was years later when I realized that she probably avoided me because she didn't like me.  I had told her that her and her mother looked like James Brown because of their hairstyles and pants.  I honestly was just trying to make small talk.  I had no idea that I was insulting her.  I always felt bad about that encounter.

In high school, we did clinical rotations at the hospital.  One morning, I didn't feel like going, so I planned to stay home until that class was over and have my college boyfriend pick me up on his way to school and drop me off.  I called his house to ask for a ride, but his dad answered the phone.  I told his dad I would call back.  His dad told him that I called.  He called me back and my mom answered.  Of course, she thought I was trying to skip school.  I tried to tell her that I just missed first period and was going to my other classes.  She made me stay home and clean out my windows and then drive her around, since her foot was in a brace.  I wasted a good outfit and hairstyle that day.  I made sure I never missed another clinical rotation.

In elementary, we would count our laps using popsicle sticks.  I would usually lie and add a lap or two, so I wouldn't look like too much of a slacker.

My brother got to bring a hamster home when he was in kindergarten.  My mom told him that he could not let it out the cage.  Of course, he took it out as soon as she left the room.  My mom got mad when she found out it was loose and threatened to beat us for letting it out.  I was not involved, so I was mad.  My mom was talking a lot of mess for a person that would not leave the sofa because she was scared.  I found the hamster within a few minutes, but didn't report the news to her for a while.  I wanted to make her sweat.

When we were kids, my brother and I decided to have a snowball fight, even though he could not find his gloves.  Within minutes, my brother was on the ground crying that he had frostbite and was going to lose all his fingers.  Of course, he also threw in he would make sure our parents knew it was my fault.  That pissed me off, so I went along with the frostbite and losing fingers idea for a while until it was almost time for my parents to come home.  It was mean, but I got tired of him always trying to lie on me.

I love watching nostalgic cartoons.  Sometimes, I get mad at my kids because they don't want to watch Saturday morning cartoons.  I must admit, a lot of their cartoons do suck nowadays.  This is why I stream or purchase the ones I grew up on.

I read books to my kids every night, but it takes me months to finish my own books.

I never have dinner ready when I tell my guests to arrive.  I need to start making appetizers for them to nibble on.  That would be the right thing to do.

I hate making whole chickens and turkeys.  They always look so disturbing.  It looks like they just want to get up and walk off.

When I was a kid, I went inside for a drink and found an ice cold 2 liter Pepsi in the refrigerator.  I dropped the bottle and picked it right back up and opened it.  Pepsi shot out like a rocket toward the ceiling.  I looked at the mess and put the lid back on the Pepsi and took my ass right back outside.  There was no cleaning that up.

I do not iron my clothes unless it is absolutely necessary.  I just shake my clothes out as hard as I can and try to loosen the wrinkles or hope that my body will smooth them out when I put the clothing on.

I cannot sleep without having my fan on.

I have mastered the lean in technique to look out the blinds.  My husband hasn't.  He wears glasses and can't get it right.  I'm sure people can see him more from trying this than if he actually cracked the blinds to look out.

I used to play hide and seek with my brother and wouldn't actually look for him.  I just needed a break from watching him.  Sadly, I've done this with my kids as well.  I just call out to them every now and then to make sure they haven't fallen to sleep in their hiding spaces.

I used to tell my little brother that I was a princess who's real parents would come to get her one day.  If he was good, I wouldn't have him beheaded and would take him with me when I left.

I don't really look like anyone in my family.  People think my in-laws are my parents because they say I look more like them than my parents.  As a kid, I thought I was adopted, especially since I never saw any baby pictures of myself.  Switched at birth?

I have wanted my tragus pieced since I was in high school.  I think I will finally get it done in the near future.

I want a tattoo.

I like to text my friend for motivation when I get tired.  I text her with my accomplishments for the day and she texts me back with hers.  It gives us both motivation to do more and finish strong.  Thanks for the help, Brittany.  Sadly, there are some days where we both convince ourselves to just do nothing and relax.

I make my kids bathe as soon as we get home, if we do not have plans to go anywhere else that evening.  I always feel like they are covered in germs once we get back from their school and activities.

I don't give out recipes that I believe I have perfected.

Sometimes, I pick my kids up early from school for the hell of it.  I like to take them out and make them feel special.