Confession #32

I go through my kid's Halloween candy and take out the candy I want and hide it for myself.  If they notice, I tell them I saw daddy do it.

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Confession #71

When I was about 8, I stayed the summer with my maternal grandma.  She believed in chores.  I was okay with cleaning the kitchen, but panicked when I was told I would have to clean the tub.  There were multiple people using one bathroom.  I could not handle it.  I quickly lied and told her I was allergic to Comet, so I could not clean the tub.  The entire summer, I was scared that she would find out I had lied.  I kept thinking about the ass whippings my mom and her siblings said she would hand out when they were growing up.  I did not want to have any ass whipping stories of my own.
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