Petara's Prerogative

I wash all of my bedding on Tuesdays.  I have a hissy fit if anyone sits on my bed and they have not bathed.  Of course, my family thinks I am weird.  I am a little more lenient once Monday rolls around.

I feed my dogs table food.

It irks me when I hear parents tell their kids that if they don't stop crying, they will give them something to cry about.  I am pretty sure they are crying because you already did just that and you are just making it worse.  Remember, these are the little people that will probably be taking care of you someday.

My mom likes to hint that I should lose weight.  She also loves to give me snacks and take-out.  I am chubby, have three kids and usually no money.  It is obvious I have no self-control and don't know how to say no.  I just sit there and ignore her suggestions while I snack, give my husband the sexy eye and browse sales online.

I have clothes in the closet that I haven't worn in over 10 years.  I also have clothes that I purchased years ago that still have the tags on it.

I check out health books from the library that range from juicing to clean eating.  I scan through them from time to time, but never actually read them.

It really upsets me when someone parks like an ass.  I should not come out to my car and not be able to get myself or my child into the car comfortably.  You knew you parked too close.  I will not feel bad at all if your car gets banged up.  You knew what you were doing when you parked.

When my kids are running around and won't listen to me telling them to sit down, I secretly hope they will trip and fall.  I want them to learn their lesson without me having to always fuss about it.

When I was in fifth grade, I got bored waiting for the bus.  I called 911 a few times and told the operator she had won a million dollars.  She threatened to send the cops to the house to talk to my parents.  I wasn't worried, because I knew I would be on the bus by the time they got there.  I still feel bad about the prank.

I want my children to be the best at everything.  In my eyes, they are the best at everything.  I am their biggest cheerleader.  I will always be there to cheer them on.

I wish the delivery man would come before my husband got home from work and gave me enough time to put my items away and get rid of the packaging.

I tell my husband that I have ordered my own Christmas gifts, so he shouldn't get me anything.  I do this so I won't be questioned when I'm getting packages delivered while he is home on vacation.  He knows Sephora, Aveda and Clarins are not delivering toys.

I go through my kid's Halloween candy and take out the candy I want and hide it for myself.  If they notice, I tell them I saw daddy do it.

I laugh at my son when he runs.  He swears he is faster than anyone and is a great athlete, but my son runs like an old man.  He reminds me of Fred Sanford.  He could care less what I say.  He has all the confidence in the world.  I am glad all my kids have lots and confidence and a good sense of humor.

I buy discounted, damaged plants at Lowe's.  I like to see if I can save them.  I've done pretty well so far.

I don't believe in sugar coating.  I will always be honest.  Sometimes, the truth hurts, but you asked me, so I am telling you.

I'm nosey.  If you leave your windows wide open, I will look and see how everything is decorated in your home.  I will also smile and wave as I do it.  I have no shame.

My allergies are bad.  Some mornings, I wake up and it looks like I am swollen from a boxing match the night before.

Sometimes, I get so tired just thinking about how much I have to do that I just say forget it and take a nap.

I hate the stench that fried food leaves in the house.

I try to save money, but then there's a sale and I just can't let a good deal get away.

I decided to try a new lip color and new eye colors.  I am wearing Mary Kay Spice 'N' Nice True Dimensions lipstick and my lips are lined in MK dark brown lip liner.  On my face, I used foundation primer, Mary Kay Time Wise matte liquid foundation and sheer mineral pressed powder.  On my eyes, I used the Mary Kay brow gel, brow definer pencil, black eyeliner, liquid eyeliner pen and Lash Intensity mascara.  The shades of eye shadow I blended are amber blaze and sweet plum.  It sounds like a lot but the look took about fifteen minutes to complete.  My link is included if you would like to order any of the products.  Also, feel free to contact me with any questions. https://www.marykay.com/pmonroe-woodberry/en-US/

When I see someone I know in public looking a mess and panicked because they've been spotted, I look away quickly and act like I never saw them.  I'm just courteous that way.  You're welcome.

It never fails.  I go out for a minute looking a mess and see someone I haven't seen in years.

I never listen to the radio.  It is either audio books or unedited rap music.  I'm either a nerd or a gangster.  There is no in between.

When I am home alone, I like to blast music, dance and clean the house.

I complain because my husband leaves the meat on the grill and it is cooked too hard.  I think I can barbecue better, but hate dealing with all the smoke.

I always need my hair done, but hate going to the salon.  I need someone to make house calls.

I cannot braid.  My girls rock afro puffs and banana clips like nobody's business.  My mom talks about me because of it, but I am okay with that.

Sometimes, I look at women who are wearing tons of makeup and wonder what they look like under it all, especially if they still don't look good after all the effort.

I want to be slim and sleek, but also like to eat.  I will have to just settle on being thick and fabulous.

I should be rich and famous.